Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
