Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Your dad touched me again.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
