dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
