I want to have your abortion
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
