you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I love you.
Bad choice
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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