so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
