I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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