I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
