she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
