we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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