apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
