nutella sex= disaster
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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