i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
