just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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