i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize