apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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