And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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