Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
