white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
