rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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