Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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