Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
