our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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