i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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