Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
