First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
