found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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