Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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