What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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