pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
