Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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