I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize