I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
