all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
