So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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