btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
