That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
