make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
