she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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