yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
