Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
