Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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