I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A+ Viking dick
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
