We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
