idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize