I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize