Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
