I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
