somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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