420 ftw
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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