last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
