she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
