What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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