I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
