that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We need to get me chipped asap
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
