I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
