woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
