I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
