Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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