real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
